'VINCENT', 1980
"...TO REACH A STAR"
What's that you're saying, Johanna? Come closer, my love, I am having difficulty ... seeing you ... it's getting ... so dark ... and cold.
Oh, the doctor says I'll be up and about again in no time, hey? Huh. Hold my hand, Johanna, let me feel your warmth as you sit by my bedside. I know, Johanna - I know - that I am dying - that I have little time left. There is much I would like to say, but I think perhaps you know what I'm thinking. You have been a wonderful wife, given me a wonderful son, little Vincent. At least my brother's name will live on through him. What more could a man ask for?
I have realised for some time that I was not well - that time when Vincent stayed with me in Paris. He wore me out, he really - wore me out. I was glad when he went to Arles to the Yellow House with Gauguin. How I wish he'd never met Gauguin ... I believe he would still be alive now if he'd never met Gauguin. Ah, my brother, my own, own, brother, I miss you so much. It seems - that I cannot live without you. The agony of my grief has driven me mad, drained my very soul.
No, no, Johanna, I'm not upsetting myself thinking of him. It's funny, but I feel him near. I feel more complete now than I have done since ... he ... died ... in my arms that day. I felt him leave his body and a part of me died with him then, but now, at last, I feel whole again. Hold me close, Johanna, I love you so.
What? Vincent? Are you here already? Is it time to go? I see you at the foot of my bed, pacing, arms folded the way you always used to do when we were talking, discussing, arguing. Now you are beckoning impatiently, reaching out to pull me away. You once said that it takes death to reach a star. Goodbye, Johanna - wait for me Vincent, I am coming with you into the starry, starry night. We will reach the stars together, my own, own brother.
---oo0oo---